Too young to potty?
Evie has made up her mind to be potty trained. At the age of 21 months old.
Now don't get all excited and start leaving me congratulatory messages yet. She has not actually achieved potty training success yet. She just thinks she has.
It started about a month ago. One day while getting her undressed for her bath, she pointed at the toilet and said, very clearly, "I potty."
I was a little surprised, but I went ahead and stripped off her diaper and sat her on the pot. And she sat there very intently for a long time. And nothing happened.
"Are you done?" I asked after awhile of waiting patiently.
"No. I potty." she said.
And so we sat there some more. And nothing happened and nothing happened and nothing happened and nothing happened. And then I got tired of it and put her in the bathtub anyway.
This has happened a few more times since then. She asks to go potty, I sit her on there, we wait, no action. She is very earnest about it. She looks, for all the world, like she is trying to go potty. But as far as actually doing her business? Still only in the diapers.
I have heard that it was the norm for mothers of earlier generations to potty train their children by 2. I have heard this repeatedly and felt like a failure because my own children were 3 by the time they got the picture, not for lack of trying on my part. As a matter of fact, I actually bought a potty seat when Beth was pre-2-years-old and she even peed in it. But not reliably. And all that happened was that it made potty training drag on that much longer. By the time she was finally having success, I felt like I had been potty-training her for forever. Because I had.
And it was not even a year ago that Child No. 2 finally completed potty training. Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't be abso-friggin-lutely delighted to be done with diapers, but I kind of don't really want to dive into the whole potty training thing right now. Again. I hate potty training. Very very much. If I could outsource potty training to an expert who would just do the whole thing for me...I just might do it.
So lately, when Evie says, "I potty," I've been saying, "Not right now." or even, "Not until you're older."
And then she climbs on the (closed) potty and sits (fully dressed) for a long time, intense look on her face. And then she climbs down and yells "Yay!" and runs off happy. (And I check her diaper, and no, she has not actually done a deed while sitting there).
Part of me hates to deny her when she's so eager to do it. Am I a fool not to cooperate with this?
And the other part of me is skeptical that anything would really come of it. She's still so young! I know that there are whole schools of thought about Infant Potty Training and Elimination Communication and other theories that advocate eschewing diapers right from birth. I am sure they work for some people, but I am not interested in trying it myself.
What I AM interested in is thoughts from others who have potty-trained at a young age. Pre-2 or just about 2. I don't personally know anyone who has done this (unless my friends have been holding out on me with their potty training success stories). I'm talking about real potty training, where the child herself recognizes the need to relieve herself and then either puts herself on the potty or reliably communicates to an adult that she needs to be put on the potty.
Did it actually work? Is it really real? If I work with her faithfully, is it possible that I could be DONE with diapers FOREVER sometime soon?
Now don't get all excited and start leaving me congratulatory messages yet. She has not actually achieved potty training success yet. She just thinks she has.
It started about a month ago. One day while getting her undressed for her bath, she pointed at the toilet and said, very clearly, "I potty."
I was a little surprised, but I went ahead and stripped off her diaper and sat her on the pot. And she sat there very intently for a long time. And nothing happened.
"Are you done?" I asked after awhile of waiting patiently.
"No. I potty." she said.
And so we sat there some more. And nothing happened and nothing happened and nothing happened and nothing happened. And then I got tired of it and put her in the bathtub anyway.
This has happened a few more times since then. She asks to go potty, I sit her on there, we wait, no action. She is very earnest about it. She looks, for all the world, like she is trying to go potty. But as far as actually doing her business? Still only in the diapers.
I have heard that it was the norm for mothers of earlier generations to potty train their children by 2. I have heard this repeatedly and felt like a failure because my own children were 3 by the time they got the picture, not for lack of trying on my part. As a matter of fact, I actually bought a potty seat when Beth was pre-2-years-old and she even peed in it. But not reliably. And all that happened was that it made potty training drag on that much longer. By the time she was finally having success, I felt like I had been potty-training her for forever. Because I had.
And it was not even a year ago that Child No. 2 finally completed potty training. Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't be abso-friggin-lutely delighted to be done with diapers, but I kind of don't really want to dive into the whole potty training thing right now. Again. I hate potty training. Very very much. If I could outsource potty training to an expert who would just do the whole thing for me...I just might do it.
So lately, when Evie says, "I potty," I've been saying, "Not right now." or even, "Not until you're older."
And then she climbs on the (closed) potty and sits (fully dressed) for a long time, intense look on her face. And then she climbs down and yells "Yay!" and runs off happy. (And I check her diaper, and no, she has not actually done a deed while sitting there).
Part of me hates to deny her when she's so eager to do it. Am I a fool not to cooperate with this?
And the other part of me is skeptical that anything would really come of it. She's still so young! I know that there are whole schools of thought about Infant Potty Training and Elimination Communication and other theories that advocate eschewing diapers right from birth. I am sure they work for some people, but I am not interested in trying it myself.
What I AM interested in is thoughts from others who have potty-trained at a young age. Pre-2 or just about 2. I don't personally know anyone who has done this (unless my friends have been holding out on me with their potty training success stories). I'm talking about real potty training, where the child herself recognizes the need to relieve herself and then either puts herself on the potty or reliably communicates to an adult that she needs to be put on the potty.
Did it actually work? Is it really real? If I work with her faithfully, is it possible that I could be DONE with diapers FOREVER sometime soon?
7 comments:
Hey I enjoy your blog.
I went through something similiar when my oldest was 3 and potty-training. My 22 month old wanted to as well, so I let her. She did great at it, except 10 percent of the time, when she would pee on the carpet! Here's the rub: she wouldn't care. So I eventually fired her from potty training, and we did it again with sticker chart when she was over three. That time she had no accidents.
Potty training takes SO many elements for it to be successful, i.e. no accidents, and they are in charge. I truly don't believe children can successfully manage all the tasks on their own before 3 (or 3.5!).
I used to wonder how everyone in olden days was potty trained so early until I read a great book called The Midwife. A non-fiction tale of London in the 50's it mentioned that toddlers would wear long shirts and no pants when they went out to play. Even though they were out of diapers, they couldn't be trusted. So I think those tales are a bill of goods.
I think it's fine to let her enjoy the wonders of the toilet, but don't be surprised if she can't take it all the way.
Good luck!
Well, I'm not personally an expert, but my mom tells the story of my brother's potty training. I'm not sure how old he was, but our pastor's wife came over one day (speaking of outsourcing) and had an all-day-long tea party in the potty room, celebrating with tic-tacs every time there was a tinkle (as facilitated by the "tea"). Apparently, he was potty trained from that day on.
3 is doing the same thing. I put him up there but I have expectation of him being trained, at least not until next year.
Mugger (our first-born) was ready much earlier than his sister. We did a potty-training boot camp about 6 weeks after his 2nd birthday and he really did very well with it-- I'd say less than a dozen accidents after that one day boot-camp with my husband. Now, Bug, she was another story-- totally different personality type. But Mugger is a people-pleaser so it worked for him-- feel free to ask me about it sometime :)
My friend Stephanie has a daughter who is eighteen months old and consistently using the toilet. She and I are both mystified by it and have basically chalked it up to the fact that kids with older siblings are interested in potty training sooner than those who don't. Toadie is already pretending to use the toilet before bathtime because he sees Bug do it. (Only problem is he is too short!)
My mother-in-law cloth diapered all her children and swears the reason her kids potty trained so quickly (she holds that they were mostly trained by two or two and a half) is because of this. Apparently, our modern disposable diapers are so good at absorbing moisture that the child doesn't realize he has to use the bathroom before it's too late. Not so much for cloth diapers. This also might account for the fact that mothers a few generations ago were more able to potty-train earlier.
I do know that subsequent children might potty train or at least be interested in the potty at a younger age with all the modeling going on. B wanted to potty train at 2 and it was a nightmare. He was trained fully at 2 and 1/2, but those were a rough 6 mos I never want to repeat again. But he left me no choice as he forced the issue. Note: I put it off with C until 3 and the whole process only took one month!
Enjoyed this post. Yes, I have a boy (can you believe it!) who told me he wanted to use the potty at 21 months. I think early sibling rivalry (he has an older brother) and me (gently) teasing him about how I'm over diapers has instigated it early. He lets me know and now (at 2 years old) we rarely have accidents. He doesn't poop on the potty quite so much, but more in his diapers during nap or night time, but I've been very impressed with his transition.
Also just wanted to let you know that I stumbled upon ya from the Parenting.com comments. Liked your site. I always like saying HELLO! to all jens & jennifers...we've got to stick together.
Keep up the good work and good luck with the potty training!
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